Celebrating my 4th Sober Birthday!
Today is my 47th birthday, and the 4th one I have celebrated sober. Birthdays look very different these days. Back when I was drinking, I would use the excuse that it was my birthday month to get wasted most days - which was no different to any other months really, it just seemed more acceptable. I wouldn't do anything if it didn't centre around getting wasted, spending time wth my kids even took a back seat. If anyone asked me what I wanted for my birthday I would say gin, red wine, a fancy bottle of tequila - anything as long as I could drink it... for my 40th birthday, I received bottles and bottles of booze, wrapped in fancy cellophane and tied with bows.
For my first sober birthday, I was only 41 days sober. I believed (& really hoped) that I'd had my last drink, but I'd thought that many many times before so I didn't want to get too complacent. Instead I went to Auckland for the weekend with my girls, went shopping and ate lots of food! I had a mini mid-life crisis by getting my nose pierced and took great delight in getting stopped by the police for a drink-driving test (this would've filled me with absolute dread previously!)
My second sober birthday looked VERY different. I'd completely changed my life and moved to New Plymouth, having left the girl's dad a couple of months before. I had celebrated my first year of sobriety by solo climbing Mt Taranaki, and was working on the reception desk of a city hotel. Two of my daughters were living with me (as they attended high school in New Plymouth), and my youngest was living with her dad 2 hours away so that she could finish her final year of primary school (I still have mum guilt about this).
I spent the morning of my birthday with the girls - we went out for breakfast together - and then drove back to New Plymouth in time for work. My new work colleagues bought me a chocolate cake and a bunch of flowers, and it was probably the first year that I hadn't been surrounded by my loved ones.
Sober birthday number 3 came around and I had a bunch of amazing friends, my youngest daughter had now moved down to live with me and I'd had a complete change of career. After deciding to leave the hospitality industry at the end of 2023, I'd taken some time out to give my brain a rest (separations are hard!) and decide what I wanted to do with my life. I'd spent the last year really focussing on my health and fitness, and the positive effect this had had on my mental health had been incredible.
I'd recently completed a Diploma in Psych & Counselling (which I was hoping would help me with my plan to become a sobriety coach), so at the beginning of 2024 I enrolled to become a qualified personal trainer as well. In March '24 I started working at my gym as a casual coach, a decision that matched perfectly with my studies.
My birthday was celebrated at a local restaurant with my girls and about 7 friends, no one drank, we just enjoyed each other's company and left with hearts and bellies full.
This year, for my fourth sober birthday, I went out with friends for mocktails and dinner over the weekend and this morning I got up early and went to the gym with my eldest daughter. She then took me to a local cafe and bought me a massive slab of carrot cake for breakfast. I went to a local spa and spent 3 hours recharging my body with compression therapy, an infrared sauna and floatation pod. Then dinner with my girls and potentially more cake this evening.
I can't believe I wasted so many years believing that, in order to celebrate turning another year older, I had to drink copious amounts of a poison in the name of fun. I literally can't remember some birthdays because I was so wasted.
My birthdays these days mainly revolve around eating as much yummy food as I can with people that fill my cup. I may have a slight sweet treat addiction, but chocolate and cakes have never made me blackout or act like a complete dick. I know which option I prefer and I'm looking forward to remembering all of my birthdays for years to come.