From sloshed to sober!!!
Firstly, I would like to say a huge thank you for visiting my page! I never ever dreamed that I would be here trying to help as many people as possible to change their relationship with alcohol. I never even thought I had a problem myself, until I tried to quit just after my 40th birthday.
I definitely knew I drank too much sometimes, I mean don’t we all? But when my mental and physical health, sleep and anxiety started to turn to crap as I approached my 40s, I started thinking about what I could do to level up my life and become a better role model for my 3 kids - giving up booze seemed like the obvious and easy choice.
I completed a very half-arsed attempt at a 90-day challenge just after my 40th birthday and was shocked at how difficult I found it. In November 2018, my daughter Leah (she was 9 at the time), told me that she got scared when I drank, she didn't like the sound of my voice. I proceeded to get pissed that night and then gave myself a very stern talking to, which I videoed on my phone (see below).
The next 3.5 years became a battle between me and booze, sometimes every other day was another day one. I firmly believe that my drinking actually got way worse before the end, drinking in the mornings, hiding bottles, lying to people about how much I’d had to drink… By the end I was exhausted, but I was also determined. One morning, at the beginning of March 2022 I looked at my hungover self in the mirror and I said “Abi, enough is enough”. That was over 1000 days ago and I haven’t had a drop since.
About 80 days in I set up an Instagram page to help keep myself accountable. This was the longest stretch I’d gone without a drink, and I was fairly sure I wouldn’t drink again, but I’d thought that before. Posting every day and following other sober pages seemed to help keep me on the straight and narrow. I did a few podcasts, joined some Insta lives, started getting involved in the online sober community.
Then one day in September 2022 I got a message out of the blue from a lady on the other side of the world who had started following me after listening to my story on a podcast a few weeks before and had found it so relatable that it made her realise that she wasn’t alone in feeling the way she did about her relationship with booze. She’d decided to try and take a break and was messaging to let me know that she’d just gone the longest she’d ever gone without a drink, 7 whole days. I was absolutely stoked that my story could inspire others and potentially change their lives. I started getting more and more messages and it got me thinking that maybe I could use my experience to help and support others.
So, I spent the next 18 months studying Psychology, Counselling and Life Coaching. My vision is to help support the growing number of people who are realising that alcohol has done its dash, it’s become more of a hindrance than a help in their lives and it no longer serves them as it once did.
These days I like nothing better than hanging out with my kids and drinking tea! The freedom I felt as soon as the weight of trying to moderate was lifted is something I don’t think I’ll ever beat (other than seeing how proud my girls are of me).
I finally have the self-respect and love for myself that was missing for all of those years. I am setting boundaries and have gone from being a people-pleaser to someone who says "no" if it doesn’t suit me.
I have no shame in standing up and saying that I’m a recovering alcoholic. According to the World Health Organisation, an estimated 400 million people aged 15 and over live with an alcohol disorder throughout the world. While it is true that drinking habits are changing for the better, alcohol is still being used by many as a crutch for getting through the highs and lows of life. It needn’t be this way.
I am beyond proud that I won the fight and, by giving up just one seemingly small thing, I have managed to completely change the trajectory of my life. In the last 2 years I have gone through a marriage break up, I’ve completely uprooted my life and moved to a new town, I’ve changed careers, I’ve studied, I’ve become fitter than I’ve ever been, I’ve lost people close to me and I’ve cried a LOT. And I’ve done all of it without booze. I am now an inspiration to my 3 teenage daughters and many people around me which always astounds me, because before I quit drinking I absolutely hated myself.